Puss in Boots Hires a Lawyer
by FonzFan82
Summary: Puss is in jail. Without Puss knowing, Humpty hires a lawyer for him. Perry Mason finds having an egg and cat odd for a client. Kylie is mine.


"I think I'll go get fresh air, Puss. I shall return," Humpty told his friend who was in bars.

"All right," Puss replied and watched Humpty Dumpty leave the dark jail.

Puss sighed. Puss didn't want Humpty to hire a lawyer when Humpty already did. He had a feeling when Humpty didn't listen to him when he met Mr. Mason. Mr. Mason sounded nice enough, but he still didn't get why Humpty wanted to get him a lawyer when Humpty explained to him why he told him Mr. Mason was going to be his lawyer. He knew lawyers cost a lot of money.

"Humpty really shouldn't have done that," Puss told himself, knowing Humpty shouldn't have done the lawyer thing.

He heard voices outside the jail cell and decided to see where the voices were coming from. He knew the voices weren't from Humpty because Humpty was already gone. He looked out the window and saw some men shouting at each other. They looked like they were getting into a fight, Puss saw. The men looked like they weren't very friendly. He saw the men were fighting about a woman and who should have her.

"Stupid," Puss said to himself.

He didn't like fights like that. He left the window because he didn't like watching fights like that. He knew it was too much violence. He saw the men looked like they were in their thirties to fifties and the woman was in her teens so she wasn't ready yet to graduate from high school. Puss saw it was a sunny day outside and it was only 90 degrees out that day. No wonder Humpty wanted to go out, Puss thought to himself. Puss had remembered Humpty had talked to Mr. Mason a few times lately. Humpty didn't give him any details on the conversations he and Mr. Mason had, but he figured that he would sooner or later. Humpty came back a few minutes later.

"Puss, I have news for you," Humpty said.

Puss could see that his friend was sweating.

"What, Humpty? Tell me the news," Puss said.

He wondered what it was.

"I've talked with Mr. Mason lately. I asked him if he could bail you out of jail. I don't want you in jail for the rest of our lives. Mr. Mason said he'll come out here at the beginning of next week to come and get you out," Humpty said.

"Thanks, Humpty. You're a good friend," Puss said.

"Did the fight outside stop?" Puss asked Humpty.

"What fight?" Humpty asked.

"The one about the girl."

"No," Humpty said.

"It's a stupid fight," Puss said.

"I know."

"Well, Puss, I think I have to leave since there are limits to visiting you," Humpty told him.

"I guess I'll have to see you again tomorrow," Puss said.

"I guess that's right."

At the office, Kylie and Perry were talking.

"I'm sorry I can't go and bail our new client out next week, Kylie. I have court that day. Would you mind doing it for me?" Perry asked his new partner.

"Sure. Aren't you happy you have me for a partner to help you out on stuff like this?" she asked.

"You bet I am."

"Like we learned before, the client is a cat named Puss in Boots. He was arrested for stealing."

"I remember that. Thanks for reminding me," Kylie said.

The two lawyers heard the secretaries out front, turning music on for some company. She didn't mind that. Puss decided to look out the window to see what else was going on besides the fight with the woman. The fight now had stopped and it was now dark and everybody had left for home for the night so there was no more action going on for the day. He knew it was boring staring out the window and finding nobody there. He gave up and left the window and curled up in a ball and fell asleep.

The following week arrived and Puss and Humpty were surprised to find out that Perry didn't come to bail Puss out and the woman was in his place instead.

"Where is Mr. Mason?" Humpty asked, surprised.

Kylie wasn't the one they expected to see and they wanted Perry to bail Puss out.

"Mr. Mason had other plans, so he asked me to take over for him. Since he and I are partners now, I take over when he can't. That's part of the deal we made when I came in to work with him."

Now Humpty got the picture. He did think Kylie was pretty for her age, even if she was in her fifties somewhere but he didn't know the exact age.

"Mr. Mason had a court date today so he wanted me to pass this message to you that he was sorry he couldn't come out here himself to bail you out even if he did want to but the date was scheduled for today."

"That's all right. We understand," Humpty said.

Kylie heard an argument outside the jail cell.

"What's the argument about?" Kylie asked.

"Some men arguing about a girl," Puss answered.

"I think it's stupid."

"You're right it is," she agreed.

"It started just yesterday. I don't get why they wouldn't give up," Puss added.

"That's the way people get sometimes," Kylie said to him and Humpty.

Then they heard a clap of thunder outside. The fight was still going on while the people decided to leave because it was starting to rain.

"I'm going to bail you out now. Way it works after you get bailed out, you have to go to court," Kylie explained to the egg and cat.

The two friends looked at each other blankly.

"I know the judge would think it odd I'm bailing a cat, but that's the way it goes," Kylie told the two.

"Let me call the judge and tell him what's going on," she said and made the call to the courthouse.

She made the call on her cell. She heard the judge's voice on the other end of the line.

"Who's the client this time?" the judge asked.

"Don't laugh, Judge. I'll bring the client over and you'll be surprised for yourself so I won't tell who he is. I'll just do it that way,' Kylie said.

"All right. I'm still curious who your client is, Ms. Blake," the judge said as they got off the phone.

"Is everyone ready to surprise the judge?" Kylie asked as she bailed Puss in Boots with permission.

The three of them drove off to the courthouse in her car in silence. Kylie felt strange driving with an egg in her car. She knew driving with a cat was normal, but an egg? She wondered what people would think of her driving with both an egg and cat in the same car, but she knew they would think it odd.

Once they parked into the courthouse parking lot, she still felt odd because of Humpty and Puss being in her car. She ran into a car that was next to hers. It was a white Cadillac. She saw a man she didn't recognize and he turned out to be in his early forties, so he was younger than she was.

"Hi, Ms.," the man said.

"Hi," Kylie said.

The man gave her a strange look, questioning why she had a cat and an egg with her to the courtroom. He didn't want to ask her himself, but he kept on walking. She watched the man head into the courthouse.

"Follow me," Kylie said to Humpty and Puss.

So Puss and Humpty followed her into the courtroom where the judge was waiting for the three of them. Still Puss and Humpty said nothing. Humpty felt nervous since he knew he'd never been in a courtroom before. He knew this was Puss's first time being in a courtroom with a lawyer. The judge watched Kylie walk towards him with an orange cat and an egg. He knew this was strange and this had never happened before.

"You said you had clients, Ms. Blake," the judge said.

"These are the clients, Judge," Kylie told him.

"An egg and a cat for clients? This is strange," the judge said.

He knew this was odd.

"I know it sounds odd, but this cat has been into trouble several times, but he needed a lawyer. He recently gotten bailed out," Kylie told the judge.

The judge laughed. He thought this was a joke.

"Wait until the rest of the court hears about this, Kylie. We'll be the laughingstock of the century," the judge told her.

"I believe it, Judge, but aren't you going to tell this cat what his bail is?" she asked.

They went through the usual bail routine with Puss and Humpty. After they gave Puss his bail sentence, Kylie left the courthouse with the two of them.

"If you ever get into trouble again, call us," Kylie said as the three separated.

"We will," Humpty promised her.

She watched the egg and cat leave the courthouse that day. She got into her car and drove back to the office. She found Perry back at the office, waiting for her.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"Fine. I just bailed the cat out. The judge thought it was odd that we have a cat and an egg for a client. He also thought we would be the laughingstock for the century," Kylie said. "I believe it," Perry agreed.

"So do I, and that's what I told the judge since they came to us since the cat was in so much trouble in the past," Kylie said.

"He's got a record all right," Mason agreed.

"True," Kylie said.

She was happy this weird adventure was over for a while with these two new clients. Perry couldn't agree more but wondered when Humpty and Puss would need them again. His question was: When would Humpty and Puss need them again? That was one question he and Kylie could never answer. They would just have to wait and see.


End file.
